1) If you happen to pick up Patrick Kane at a club, and you take him back to your place and get your freak on, FILM IT. Do not take half-assed photographs of him sleeping and then of his boarding pass (um, creeper, going through his shit. Besides, if people don't believe you fucked Kaner, then, well, their loss).
The world needs a P. Kane sex tape out there. If you have sex with Patrick Kane and do not capture it in grainy webcam footage and then post it on the internet, you have officially FAILED HUMANITY.
2) Warning: the picture below is totally NSFW. You're welcome.
There are so many things that are right in this snapshot of humanity, I can't even...the way Ben Eager is clearly staring at the naked lady. The way the penalty box timekeeper is totally ignoring the naked lady. The way naked lady is wearing a Canucks jersey (a photo from another angle shows that it's a Henrik Sedin jersey, so...what the fuck? Epically bad fashion choice, check) yet chose to flash the Sharks penalty box, because clearly her breasts are weapons of mass distraction that must be used carefully.
Side note: Eager managed twenty minutes in the box in a sixty-minute game. Clearly the lure of naked lady boobies was too strong for him.
So all in all, puckbunnies, remember to film all sexual encounters with P. Kane for the greater good, and be careful when deploying the power of your bare nipples. Some asshat with a blog might decide to make fun of your jersey.
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