IT HAS BEEN CONFIRMED

SKIPPY AND SCHADENFREUDE ARE HOCKEY PROPHETS.

We so called that the Bruins would face the Canucks in the finals.

I'm sure Skippy will post something with actual content about last night's mad intense game, the bad-assery of her future husband Tim Thomas and the fact that we now get to perv over Ryan Kesler and root for the B's at the same time which is the best kind of multitasking, but I just want to put it out there that we are fucking PROPHETS.

The Zen of Puckbunnies (Vol 2-- Bugaloo Electric Over Cedars)

Puckbunny Bulletin: Stay Classy

There have been several developments in the world of puckbunnies over the past few weeks. And by several, I mean two. Anyway. Let's start off with this:

The Zen of Puckbunnies (Vol 1)

The first of (way too) many hockey haiku posts.

If only Sensei knew this is what would become of my degree in Japanese literature.

Skippy's Get-Psyched-About-The-Bruins Post

I know Schadenfreude has already done one of these, but I felt it was important to do one separately, mostly because I need to independently work myself up for my (temporary) new team. Also, it gave me an opportunity to use THIS PICTURE:

A good rule of thumb: When your opponent is hemorrhaging from the face, keep punching. It means you're doing it right!

But before we move on...

Dear 2010-11 Flyers,

Put down the golf clubs for a second and pay attention.

We started off this season with high hopes. I mean, wet-behind-the-ears rookie goaltender beating the Penguins at the opening of the Consol? Could it get better than that? No, apparently, because when Game 4 against the Bruins came around Bob looked like the most experienced player on our team. When the best forward in any given game is James van Riemsdyk, you know you’ve got problems.

It wasn’t all bad. Claude Giroux came out of his shell and proved to the league that he was the Second Coming of AWESOME, a fact I had known for some time. JVR notched a Gordie Howe against the Tampa Bay Lightning, demonstrating that we live in some form of alternate dimension. Jody Shelley was useless except occasionally when he pounded someone’s face in, which was highly entertaining.

We should have, however, seen the collapse coming. Losing Chris Pronger was a sign from above that things were probably not going to work out, as the Flyers require a certain blindside-elbow-per-capita ratio to be maintained in order for them to do well (it’s an indicator, like plus-minus or the Corsi score). Our goaltending decided to dissolve right at the worst possible time, our forwards suddenly couldn’t score even if someone had obeyed my commands and hogtied Tim Thomas in the trapezoid, and our defense seemingly decided that it would be rude to not allow the other team the opportunity to shoot, crash the net, and then poke the rebound home.

But hey. Maybe you all just got tired. Maybe you got bored with this whole “winning” thing and felt like seeing what failure was like. Maybe you decided that it would be unfair to keep taking so much airtime away from the Phillies. We’ll never really know. Holmgren and Co. will do a hack job (probably) on this team during the offseason, and then in October we’ll all re-gather, ready for another go-round.

And this time, maybe you’ll make it to the finals before folding like a card table.

Love,

Skippy

p.s. Now I have to root for the Bruins, you motherfuckers.

Changing of the guard

Well, I dug out my Bruins shirt from the bottom of my laundry basket (yeah, I'm gross like that) and started browsing pics of Ference and Bergie on the Googlies-- I have a new team to get excited about.

I was saving this for a rainy day

and while today isn't exactly rainy (though Wednesday was a mess when were trying to have stalkerventures at the Garden-- though I may possibly be not supposed to talk about that), I still could use a good cheering up.

So I present to you the next in my series of disturbing Flyers photoshops:

BB!ROO.

That's all for nowsies, but things to look forward to from Shadenfreude probably include a "Well now we have to give a shit about the Bruins" post/picspam.  It will include Ference's fantastic Canadian flag tattoo.  In fact, it may consist entirely of Ference's fantastic Canadian flag tattoo.

EDIT:  It is now raining like a bitch.  I am apparently psychic as well as a prophet of hotness.

Jonathan Toews deep-throating a Popsicle? Jonathan Toews deep-throating a Popsicle.

FANGIRLS EVERYWHERE NEED TO SEE THIS VIDEO:

Yes folks, that is various members of the 2010 Blackhawks, including Patrick Kane and Jonathan Toews, having a popsicle eating contest. SHIT IS GAY.

Why do you do this to me?

Well, they didn’t get their asses kicked. Instead they chose to take Skippy’s heart and use it to practice their slapshots or some such madness. Maybe Carcillo nommed on it with his gums or something. (Question for the ages: why does Carcillo wear a mouthgard? He has no teeth to protect!).

IT'S LAYDEEZ NITE.

It's Ladies' Night! Cheap beer! Hot menfolks! Free Patrick Kane with proof of I.D!

To distract myself from the fact that all of Boston is creaming itself over the Bruins, this post goes out TO THE LAYDEEZ. And dudes who like dudes.  And pretty much anyone with eyes.